Announcing....The Valentine's Day Sale!!!

If you hadn't guessed, I love love. And I LOVE the story of St. Valentine and the significance of Valentine's Day. I'll share more on it soon, but I wanted to announce my Valentine's Day Sale! There are some new goodies in the shop just in time for that special loved one.

Do you like Valentine's Day? Why or Why not?

Some Beauteous Beauties

These lovelies just infuse my heart with happiness.

Ruby & Sterling Silver

In the Etsy Shop this weekend!

Out of the Clouds...

In my last post, I used the "D" word--depression. Although, for me, it is often related to the weather in these parts, the recent bout had more to do with the loss of a 15 year friendship. It's been excruciating. I've spent hours, days even, thinking about what I did wrong, who was to blame, what I could have done different...analyzing, dissecting, beating my head against a wall. When the other side is not communicating, there is only so much you can do.

And then....and then....I woke up a couple days ago, checked my email, felt instantly sad, and started the same process as I was driving my husband to work. On the way back, I thought (and excuse my language here), "Fuck this! I am so sick of feeling like this!" Then and there, I decided to allow myself to move on to the anger phase of this process.

Notice the key word there: allow. I had been holding myself back. Holding out hope. I realized that I had done what I could and gotten nothing back. There was no use beating myself up anymore, and I gave myself permission to let go. Knowing that I needed to get angry to move on, I took that next step, and now I am soaring out of the clouds. 

My chest feels lighter, the days seem brighter (even when covered by clouds), and I am no longer prone to crying at misplaced jokes in grocery stores.

I listened to this song, a lot:

I listened to TED talks about dreams and forgiveness, as well. And I watched a couple goofy movies while working in the studio.

Best of all, today I realized that I don't want to approach this with anger. That's not really who I am. Sometimes I just need to be angry to move forward. I want to approach this with love. Love and understanding. So now, when I think of that friend, I send this energy thousands of miles:

I am your friend.

I am here for you, always.

I love you and I understand.

I forgive you, I forgive myself.

Forgiveness of self and others is key to moving forward, to keeping a clean soul, and living a happy life. I always include forgiveness of self because no matter how much someone else messed up, there is always an element of self-blame ('I should have known.' 'Why did I let them in?' 'What did I do wrong?').

How do you feel about forgiveness? What helps you 'come out of the clouds'?

Out in the Open

When you see me, or meet me, or spend time with me, you'll be with someone who is happy, positive, and encouraging.

People have that effect on me, most of the time.

But there's another part of me that I don't show to many people. I mask it, I try to 'fix' it, escape it. It's the part of me that is depressed. Yep, I said it. The 'D' word.

I'm not talking clinical depression or anything like that. This is definitely seasonal, and I've been aware of it for years. When you choose to live in the Northwest, the clouds and darkness and rain are something you just have to deal with. 

I love it here and fall in love with Portland every day. But the darkness definitely affects me. With seasonal depression, it can be a daily battle just to keep positive--mostly I do it by surrounding myself with positive people, listening to inspiring stories from TED, watching funny movies, going for walks, and not giving in to the melancholy of the clouds. I feel an instant hit of joy and productivity on sunny days. 

I live for those sunny days.

I also live for my time in the studio. It saves me. It saves my heart.

Lately, on top of the SAD, I've been dealing with the demise of one of my most important, influential, and longest friendships. It's not my choice, and there is no communication from the other side, and frankly, it has destroyed me. 

But today, after waking up with an aching heart (again), I decided to move on from months of waiting and holding out hope, and let myself feel the anger...after all, it is one of the steps of grieving, and very necessary. 

I talk about forgiveness a lot. It's a vastly important part of my life, because I like to keep a clear soul, but I'm not there yet with this situation. 

When I go through times in my life like this, I spend a lot of time thinking about the positive aspects of my life. 

I am healthy.

I married a wonderful man last year! Good God, I love him more than I ever thought I could.

I have the two most wonderful, crazy, furry babies in the world.

My family is crazy and wonderful.

I get to create amazing, beautiful pieces of art on a regular basis. This infuses my soul with hope and joy.

I am part of a greater community, full of people trying to better the world.

When I look at all these things, and more, suddenly things seem pretty good. Pretty darn amazing, in fact.

What are you grateful for?

Adventures in the Temperate Rainforest

 

One reason I love living in Portland is the veritable temperate rainforest that surrounds us. Did you know that this whole area was once a rainforest?! I grew up in Southwest Portland, right next to Tryon Creek State Park, where my father and siblings and I would go walking, often. 

As we got older, it was mostly just me and my father, hiking or horseback riding. Hiking remains one of my absolute favorite ways to be outside and be active. 

I am a natural explorer, constantly investigating the land around me.

  

This last weekend, Dave and I went to a little place across the river in Washington, called Lacamas Park. I thought it was just a small park from the description in our "Curious Gorge" book, but it was larger than I thought, with trails winding this way and that. 

Most of the trails follow a small river, up past two waterfalls, around a lake, and back down through the forest. We hiked a good while, and I can't wait to hike more!

Where do you go exploring?

What do you find?

My favorite part about the hike was definitely the immense numbers of different types of lichen and mosses we saw--proof of pure air and happy organisms. Some of them were like little creatures, while others were almost like paintings on the trees. Unfortunately I couldn't capture the true, almost neon-green color of the one below.

I love getting down to the level of these mosses, seeing the world as if I was tiny. What a beautiful place!

New Work

Cherry Creek Jasper Necklace in Sterling Silver

 

A Little Bird Told Me Ring

  Sterling Silver and Ocean Jasper

Happy New Year!!

I admit it.  I'm not a huge partier on New Year's.  It never feels so much like turning over a new leaf, but is simply a new day. 

I've learned that I have more success with resolutions if I don't actually speak them out loud--perhaps it is the fear of disappointing others or myself, but making those grandiose statements out loud puts on a whole lot of pressure. 

All I want for 2012 is to have more adventures, and so far, I am.  It's about expanding my horizons, reaching up, reaching out.

Letting go of the old, and welcoming the new.

I've been walking more, taking charge of my health with a different eating style, and getting out into the outdoors.  I grew up with the nickname 'dirt pig', because I love dirt.  It's true.  I would sit in it, throw it in the air, and giggle mercilessly as it rained down upon my head.  I'm not quite so fond of rolling in it now, but I do love the smell, the feel of it, and being surrounded by the earth.

 

Whatever your passion is, I hope you find time and heart to pursue it this year.  Follow your heart, always.